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Movie Mishaps

How Disney Ruined Star Wars Part 3

January 24, 2020 by Luke Fisher

This article contains spoilers for any and all movies in the Star Wars Saga including Episode IX: The RIse of Skywalker.

So is part 3 of 3 in the How Disney Ruined Star Wars article series. I will also be doing a 2-3 part series on “The Best of a Disney Run Star Wars,” but back to this issue. In the first two parts, I touched upon a few major issues with Disney running Star Wars. In this issue, I will talk more in-depth about that but also bring up a few more problems.

A very large problem with the sequel trilogy especially, Episode VII: The Force Awakens and Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker, is the tremendous amount of non-fulfilling, empty, fanservice. Why don’t we take a trip down memory lane? Who pops up in Force Awakens? First Han Solo and Chewbacca show up on the Millennium Falcon and Han says “Chewie, we’re home.” That is straight-up just Disney using Han Solo to play on all the fans’ nostalgia. Then C-3PO shows up later with a red arm and Chewie hugs him. And after that, General Leia Organa, leader of the knockoff Rebel Alliance known as the Resistance, lands her ship and starts talking to Han. Then to top it all off the whole movie revolves around finding Luke Skywalker! Uh.

I’ll give credit where credit is due, and that is too Rian Johnson for relying as heavily as J.J. Abrams on fan service, cameos, and callbacks.

Then we get to fan service the movie. Aka J.J. Abrams Star Wars Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker. Oh, God. We get the return of Lando Calrissian played by the legendary Billy De Williams, The Sullust alien Nein Numb who helped Lando pilot the Millennium Falcon in Return of the Jedi, Emperor Palpatine (who should’ve stayed dead.) Then we get to all the Jedi who spoke to Rey when she was about to kill Palpatine. Yoda (not the baby) Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan-Kenobi Ewan Mcgregor version, Obi-Wan-Kenobi Alec Guinness version, Mace Windu, Qui-Gon Jin, Ahsoka Tano, Kannan Jarrus, Ayla Secura Clone Wars Version, Luminara Unduli Clone Wars version, and last and certainly least Adi Gallia also the Clone Wars version. And that’s only the ones I know of.

Another big issue is the Merchandising Characters. The biggest examples of this are the Porgs and Babu Frick. The porgs small, flat-muzzled avians that flock about the rocks and roost in the cliffs of Luke Skywalker’s island on Ach To. In the run-up of Last Jedi, you couldn’t see anything related to that film without seeing a porg. And Porg toys flooded the toy shelves long before the film hit theaters. Then we reach dear Babu Frick. What is his point in the film? Selling toys. But J.J. Abrams had to give an excuse so he said that Babu Frick was the only alien in the galaxy who could cut into C-3PO’s protocols and get him to translate the text inscribed on the sith dagger.

The last problem I will discuss is solely related to the Rise of Skywalker. I am talking about how nothing in the film sticks. Rey kills Chewie. Nope on another ship. C-3PO loses all his memory. Nah R2-D2 has a backup in his drives. Emperor Palpatine has all his power back. Once again no. Rey says “I am all the Jedi” and kills him. Rey dies. No Ben Solo gives his life energy to her and he dies.

So that is all the problems I found in a Disney run Star Wars franchise there are many more that I would still like to cover, but who knows maybe a will do a part 4 in the future. Until then, “May the Force be with You.”       

Filed Under: Movie Mishaps Tagged With: 3, Disney, Ruined, Starwars

How Disney Ruined Star Wars Part 2

January 23, 2020 by Luke Fisher

This article contains spoilers for some of the Star Wars movies. If you have not seen them then turn away.

Welcome to part 2 of “How Disney Ruined Star Wars.” So in the last part, we covered how Disney ruined Star Wars through their movies and in this part we will explore the other ways how Disney harmed the massive Star Wars franchise. 

A very large problem with the new Disney controlled Star Wars is the specialty. Let’s look back at the dates of the past Star Wars films. A New Hope 1977, Empire Strikes Back 1980, Return of the Jedi 1983, Phantom Menace 1999, Attack of the Clones 2002, and Revenge of the Sith 2005. In each trilogy, there would be a three-year gap between each film but in the new movies, there would be just a two-year gap with a branch film in between each main saga movie. Having such a short gap with a film coming out each year got rid of the excitement building up for so long in between each one and fans excitedly awaiting the next film.

The next issue was actually more film-related. What I’m talking about is the inconsistencies between each film. In Rian Johnson’s The Last Jedi, he spent most of the film completely obliterating plot lines and story threads J.J. Abrams created in his film The Force Awakens. Then Disney, seeing how bad a filmed helmed by Rian Johson did, brought back the first director, J.J. Abrams. So what does he do with his second foray into the Star Wars galaxy? Completely re-write and destroy everything Rian Johson built in his film. Episode IX is a good sequel to Episode VII but not to Episode VIII and episode VIII would be a good stand-alone film.

Next, we got onto the issue of merchandising. In the 70s and 80s, not many Star Wars toys would come out each year so it would be a big deal when they did. Ever since Disney, the merchandising of Star Wars has gone way up mostly due to their contracts with LEGO and Hasbro. As of right now, a new Star Wars toy comes out every day and it’s no big deal. Having more toys isn’t necessarily a bad thing but it certainly gets rid of the excitement.

Another very issue with Star Wars is actually directly Disney’s fault. I am of course talking about the sacrifice of story for politic’s sake. The biggest example of this took place in Rian Johnson’s Last Jedi. The biggest example of this was the Canto Bight sequence in the second act. So apparently the head of Lucasfilm, Kathleen Kennedy, thought it was a good idea to spend half an hour of the already long film on a political statement of a planet. To fit it into the story Rian Johnson said that they had to find a rich gambler on this planet to help them stop Supreme Leader Snoke and The First Order. What’s so political about that? Well, it turns out that this city is full of unjust rich weapon suppliers who sell blasters and ammunition to the First Order. This is Disney’s way of sort of saying that being rich is bad no matter how righteous or in this case immoral your cause is. Lastly is the fact that Disney doesn’t care about the quality as much as they care about them making money. Disney is a mega monopoly and they can’t quite help themselves but care more about the money each movie makes rather than put all their effort into rewarding people who pay them to see the movie by crafting a good plot. Bob Iger paid a full $4,500,000,000 to buy Lucasfilm so they only just made their money back after releasing 3 Star Wars films those being Force Awakens, Rogue One, and Last Jedi. So when they released Solo: A Star Wars Story (which completely bombed) they had to press even harder to make back the money they lost from the film. So when Star Wars Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker came out they put plenty of pressure on director J.J. Abrams to make sure that his film made at least $400,000,000 dollars to be sure Disney more than made back what they paid. And they sure did as it became the 46th movie to make over a billion dollars. As pointed out in part 1 the movie was simply terrible but Disney does not care as long as it makes them money. So hopefully Disney does what’s best and take a break from making main saga films 

Image result for disney killing star wars

Filed Under: Movie Mishaps

How Disney Ruined Star Wars

January 23, 2020 by Luke Fisher

This article has some spoilers for Star Wars Episode IX, The Rise of Skywalker. Turn away if you have not seen the movie.

Along time ago in a galaxy far far away (Aka Disney headquarters in 2012), Bob Iger bought Lucasfilm and all of Starwars from George Lucas for $4,500,000,000. What’s the first thing they do when they buy this pop-culture phenomenon. Cancel the beloved Star Wars the Clone Wars TV show and start work on their trilogy of mediocre sequel movies. 

A long time ago in a galaxy far far away (Aka Disney headquarters in 2012), Bob Iger bought Lucasfilm and all of Starwars from George Lucas for $4,500,000,000. What’s the first thing they do when they buy this pop-culture phenomenon? Cancel the beloved Star Wars the Clone Wars TV show and start work on their trilogy of mediocre sequel movies. 

First, they come out with a pretty decent show titled Rebels headed by Dave Filoni. The show hoped to fill in the 19-year gap between 2005’s Revenge of the Sith and 1977’s A New Hope. 

Almost two years later, J.J. Abrams’ Star Wars: The Force Awakens hits theaters with generally good reviews and likewise at the box-office. It was nothing new, which is the biggest criticism of Disney’s sequel trilogy. Star Wars Episode IV. Princess Leia Organa hides an important hologram inside her small droid and gets taken captive. Star Wars Episode VII. Poe Dameron hides an important hologram inside his droid and gets taken captive. What’s the biggest threat of Episode IV? A giant weapon that can destroy entire planets. What’s the biggest threat of Episode VII. A giant weapon that can destroy entire planets AND their moons. How do you destroy it? In Episode IV you shoot a torpedo in a small hole that makes a chain reaction and blows the whole weapon up. In Episode VII you shoot a group of torpedos in a small space that makes a chain reaction and blows the whole weapon up. 

The main character of Episode IV was a young 19-year-old man stuck on a desert planet who meets an old guide who dies later and helps save the galaxy. Meanwhile, The main character of Episode VII was a young 19-year-old woman, who meets an old guide who dies later and helps save the galaxy. 

Luke Skywalker meets an old man in his sixties named Obi-Wan-Kenobi who gets killed by a sith lord on the superweapon but not without making a lasting impact on the story’s hero. Rey (whose last name I will say later) meets an old man in his sixties named Han Solo who gets killed by a sith lord on the superweapon but not without making a lasting impact on the story’s hero.

The similarities just never end. I could talk and talk about them forever but that was just the first of three movies. 

37 years after Star Wars Episode V hits theaters, Disney releases Rian Johnson’s Star Wars Episode VIII The Last Jedi. Disney is confident that this one will do quite well considering that all of their other endeavors had succeeded. They were wrong. 

The Last Jedi suffers from the same problems as The Force Awakens. Plot resemblance. Rian Johnson’s Last Jedi is more similar to Ivan Kirshner’s Empire Strikes Back than you may think. In the opening of Episode V, the Rebel Alliance is on the run from the Empire after winning a great victory. In Episode VIII, the Resistance is on the run from the First Order after winning a great victory. In Episode V Luke Skywalker goes to visit an old Jedi named Yoda on a backwater planet who exiled himself because he failed the Jedi Order. In Episode VIII Rey goes to visit an old Jedi named Luke Skywalker on a backwater planet who exiled himself because he failed the Jedi Order. Then in the finales of both movies, the sith lord confronts the hero and offers to overthrow the current regime and rule the galaxy with the hero. Darth Vader tries to convince Luke because he is his father, therefore, using Luke’s lineage to his advantage. Kylo Ren uses Rey’s parents being no ones to his advantage, therefore, using Rey’s lineage to his advantage.

Then in May of 2018 Disney took another massive misstep in the form of Solo: a Star Wars Story. Directed by Ron Howard, this movie was to focus on the early years of Han Solo’s criminal life. Once again, a MASSIVE misstep. I call it “the movie no one wanted but everyone got.” What happens in the movie? Han Solo gets separated from his girlfriend Quira and joins the IMPERIAL ARMY! But, just to make it worse Ron Howard thought it was a good idea for Han to get his last name from an Imperial recruiting officer. Also to add on to it, it turns out Chewbacca was a MAN-EATING slave of the Empire and he became friends with Han because he knew his language. So then they steal some fuel, make the Kessel Run in 12 parsecs, gets betrayed by the crew leader, gets betrayed again by the client, and gets betrayed once again by Quira, who then talks to Darth  Maul. Oh, and if you were wondering how he got his vest and blaster, well this movie wastes time showing how. And now that you mention it, the Millenium Falcon was white and Lando was in love with a droid. Fantastic movie.

Then we get to what I consider to be the worst of the bunch. J.J. Abrams’ second time directing a Star Wars film, The Rise of Skywalker (it sounds like a 12-year-old’s fanfic). The movie Parallels Richard Marquand’s Star Wars Episode VI in many, many ways. To sum up the movie I will say this:it is a complete mess. With unresolved plot threads, humongous plot holes, and downright stupid concepts left in the final film.  J.J. Abrams wanted to bring back Darth Sidious aka Emperor Palpatine for this latest installment in the Skywalker Saga and the only explanation for how is one line from the emperor himself, “The Dark Side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities…Some consider to be unnatural.” The opening crawl talks of a message sent across the galaxy by Palpatine. What are the contents of this message? Well J.J. Abrams thought it was a good idea to make people play Fortnite to actually hear this message. 

So, aside from the tons of similarities, The biggest one is the brand new Star Destroyer fleet (cough cough fleet of Death Stars). Just like in Star Wars Episode VI, Episode IX brings back an even more powerful planet-destroying weapon even though J.J. Abrams was heavily criticized for doing the same thing in Force Awakens in the form of Starkiller Base. Then, for the second time, we get an evil Skywalker turn to the light side and aid in the defeat of the Dark side. In Return of the Jedi, it was Darth Vader aka Anakin Skywalker, and in The Rise of Skywalker, it was Kylo Ren aka Ben Solo Skywalker. And in both films, the sith lord gives up his life in order to save that of the hero.

So for the big reveal, it turns out that Rey is a freaking PALPATINE! So how is this possible? Why don’t we do the math? In Episode III Chancellor Palpatine is 57 therefore by the events of Episode VI which takes place 22 years later, Palpatine is the ripe old age of 79. In Episode IX’s flashback sequence, we see that at the age of six Rey’s parents are about 30 and since the events of the Rise of Skywalker take place about 31-32 years after Episode VI where Rey is 20 years old. Subtract 14 years to make her six and then another 30 for her parent’s age that would mean that Palpatine would have to be in his late 60s or early 70s when he had his son.

Next, we get on to the subject of Palpatine not being dead. In Episode VI he was picked up and thrown down a few hundred-foot deep shaft then blown up in an exploding superweapon and was assumed to be dead. If Palpatine were to survive, he would have to be left in the dead of space for at least two days before being picked up and placed back in breathable air. How do I know that it would have to be two days? Well in the cannon game Star Wars Battlefront II the leader of Inferno Squad escapes off of the forest moon of Endor two days after the second Death Star is blown up. When she is leaving she gets into a dogfight with the only things searching the wreckage. X-wing starfighters which can only hold one man each. So if he were to be rescued it would have to be sometime after Inferno Squad leaves so after two days.

So a character J.J. Abrams built up in his first film was Supreme Leader Snoke. Everyone was excited to find out who he truly was when they walked into theaters to see The Last Jedi. Well, we didn’t get to find out because he got killed by Kylo Ren in the third act of the film. And going into The Rise of Skywalker that question was still burning in everyone’s minds. Who was Snoke? Turns out he was a being created by Palpatine and there were a dozen of him in a jar in Palpatine’s base on Excegol.

That was just some of the ways Disney ruined Star Wars. There are still many other problems which I hope to cover in part 2 of this article, so see you then.

Filed Under: -Featured-, Movie Mishaps

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